giant flying jellyfish from jupiter

by J.M.V.D. Kieft

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about

{WARNING} this is a horrible album, it was written poorly, produced poorly and is not worth listening to by anybody, and sounds like it was written by a weird freaky amateur alone in his bedroom around 3-7 in the morning..... which it was


each song is in a different genre\style ... usually a hybrid one. though some styles may show up as part of the formula for another song's hybrid style


this is a concept album about being a slider from a parallel universe with an alternate history of music and trying to fit in with the media music of this world and being kind of jaded and thinking i could do stuff better but then falling flat on my face because i'm too cheezee and depraved to be a hipster so i just end up alternating between misanthropy and relativism. also the main character made a horror movie about aliens

im more of an exploitation film from my own genre of fiction where theres a fantasyland in my mind trying to escape and then decided its for the best if i don't

i have no rock and roll credability, i prefer the music of the anime series slayers to either of the 80s metal bands called slayer( yes there were 2 and they were both thrash meta\ also slayerS had 5 different titles, one for each seasonl}

i grew up listening to rock, metal and dance music and oldies so but i don't really fit in with any of the contemporary genres of music so i had to invent my own,

its called bridge music, and when it gets its own wikipedia page[and it will]
the stylistic origins bubble will list eurodance, latin freestyle, motown, industrial, and post-punk.

and every so often people will edit that section to say [progressive rock, progressive house, roots rock, and bubblegum pop ]

but the page itself will also list bridge rock
as a subgenre that is a hybrid of bridge mixed with rockabilly, space rock, psychadellic rock, folk rock, visual kei and heavy metal.
and it will list a bridge wave
subgenre that is a hybrid of bridge with new wave, synthpop, trillwave, electroclash, reggaeton, dancehall and hardstyle.


eurodance, latin freestyle and dance-rock which will be retconned into bridge music

and 5 other sub genres that are not associated with me and are far more popular than my music[ which is usually considered proto-bridge rather than real bridge] , including a retrofuturist subgenre that is neither related to nor unrelated to various time period punk genres such as cyberoque, or slider punk, or macguffen punk or time compression punk or multiverse punk or neoclassical rockabilly zydeco punk,


what is bridge music? well it started as an ipod on shuffle while driving over the bridge consistantly playing the same songs mysteriously, and ended up being an alternate name for eurodance... so basically its an inside joke. then when i adopted bridge music as my genre of music i mixed it with my random retro roullette blender music which is usually based in rock

in my head canon\alternate history of rock music in which bridge music would just be rock music and not its own genre
.......
*power ballads whether by a 70s stadium rock band, an 80s glam metal band, or an early 90s grunge band or a late 90s, 00s and 10s post-grunge band actually arent really rock music, but a separate genre called power ballad music

*rock music [which really did start off as R&B music under a different name] is just a different name for R&B because music should not have any racial segregation. [mostly to make it easier to categorize the rascals lol] and vice versa

*most dance pop genres are retconned as dance rock genres since most dance pop music is derivative of commercial pop rock and pop r&b anyway ergo the real mccoy, and la bousche would be considered pop rock bands

*punk is considered a hybrid of early rock and roll mixed with early heavy metal,

*disco and glam metal are cool, post-grunge\alternative metal and hardcore rap\"chill out in my car getting massage from bass" music is the stuff that sucks,

*hip hop is considered a hybrid of funk and blues mixed with krautrock and electronic body music[because of kraftwerk] ergo industrial hip hop is a redundacy [grammer]also trip hop no longer seperate genre i guess{unintended consequence}

*hipsters never killed rock music by adopting it and refusing to listen to the radio or pay for music causing the capitalist system to stop promoting rock music{wish}

* also i DO NOT want to be the leader of an anti-modernist low fidelity retro experimental hybrid pop music revolution i just want to make a new genre of music and to find my musical comfort zone and have a name for it and to listen to music that i want to regardless of the stuff my peers are into ....
....and if nobody likes my music... I probably will take it personally because i'm a very emotional impulsive person with an introverted heart chakra and an over developed naval chakra but its okay if nobody likes my music because music and its appreciation is relative . i'm just trying to have this available in case someone likes it or can learn from it either by incorporating the good parts or avoiding the bad parts


AM I THE ONLY AMATUER MUSICIAN WILLING TO PUT DISCO, GARAGE ROCK, J-POP, ANIME MUSIC, PYSCHADELLIA, REGGAE, POST-PUNK, FOLK PUNK, AMBIENT, REGGAETON, JAZZ FUSION, R&B, EXPERIMENTAL, NEO-CLASSICAL, STONER-METAL, GRUNGE, POLKA, BUBBLEGUM, GABBER, AGGROTECH, DARK WAVE, GOTHIC, SYNTHPOP, ELECTROPOP, ELECTROFUNK, ACOUSTIC METAL, THRASH METAL, SURF ROCK, KRAUT-ROCK, GROOVE METAL, BLACK METAL, ELECTRONIC BODY MUSIC, ADULT CONTEMPORARY\SOFT ROCK, GLAM METAL, MIAMI BASS, LATIN FREESTYLE, HIP HOP, DRILL, RAP, SPOKEN WORD, FUNK, SPACE ROCK, EURODANCE, HOUSE, TECHNO, NOISE, BLUES, BREAKCORE, INDUSTRIAL, NEW WAVE, AND ROCKABILLY ON THE SAME ALBUM?.... .......HOPEFULLY!!!!



music i listened to while writing the songs,
depesche mode, rush, king crimson, yes, black sabbath, deep purple, iron maiden, accept,ratt, wasp, def lepperd, scorpions,dokken, cinderella, quiet riot, white lion, roxxette, fixx, ronnettes, crystals, shirelles, supremes, tommy james and the shondells, chris montez, the four tops,the mccoys, the rascals, the gentrys, little eva, little anthony and the imperials, the fireballs, the cure, the clash, siouxsie and the banshees, animotion, eurythmics, erasure, the petshop boys, the thompson twins, front 242, nitzer ebb, aspyxia, throbbing gristle, cole porter, django reinhart, queen, daft punk, steppenwolf, dave clark 5, the beatles, the chameleons, xmal deutchland, sister of mercy, rob zombie, pantera, nothing face, shadows fall, manowar, electric wizard, luna sea, shocking blue, proclaimers, creedence clearwater revival, jefferson airplaine, cornelius brothers and sister rose, electric light orchestra, lady gaga,robin shultz, bruno mars, charli xcx, rita ora, meghan trainer, iggy izaelea, john newman, mr probz, lilywood and the prick,calvin harris, adam lambert, amber, no mercy, culture beat, company c, tka, stevie b, shana,shannon, cynthia, lil suzy, technotronic, fine young cannibals, corona, cascada, major lazer, icekream, egyptian lover, mc lucious, lords of acid, sound master T, quad city djs, jane bang, 2 live crew anime theme songs. isochronic tones and binaural beats

credits

released February 2, 2015

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about

J.M.V.D. Kieft New York, New York

records music from his home with "amature" production, has musical A.D.D and must jump from genre to genre but grew up listening to mostly pop music from the 60s, 80s, and early 90s, , has studied privately with instructors on guitar playing and has occassionally attempted to play various other instruments, I compensate for my "xtra lo fi-ness" with weirdness ... more

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